Just Drive through It

The contents of this book are written in a biographical setting of one mans’ life navigating through the mental complexities of anxiety, panic attacks, clinical depression and PTSD after a horrendous automobile accident changed his psychic and reshaped how he coped with the trials, tribulations and everyday situations thereafter. I chose to write about all the many experiences I lived through to demonstrate that with God by my side, therapy, medication and a desire to succeed overcame the many disappointments and setbacks that were challenges to defeat. The intent of the book is to keep the reader from becoming distracted by medical terms, theories and inane descriptions of treatments used to assist in daily living. I used an olio of true events, vivid descriptions of my emotions and therapy as I dealt with my demons and old programs. I am and will always be a “work in progress”.

I was born in Appalachia, raised on a farm, lived with my mother a half-brother and a man mom was married to who was not my father. The mental and physical abuse I witnessed and endured fortified my will to treat everyone with love, dignity and respect in later life. Mom and I left our lives and all our belongings behind and boarded a bus late at night and rode two-thousand miles west to escape certain death at the hands of moms’ now ex-husband. As I grew older I discovered how beautiful and wonderful love could be and experienced many facets of romance. Mom was a hopeless romantic and thankfully she passed that on to me. I enlisted in the military, was married, had children and was building an exciting future surrounded by airplanes when late one night on my way home from a double shift at my airbase an irresponsible drunk driver drove his four thousand pound auto into my car and in an instant changed my life and the lives of my wife, children and extended family forever.

I was honorably discharged from the military and went about finding a new career path and found I loved construction and owned and operated a construction company for several years. My love for aviation once again beckoned me to learn to fly and earn a pilot’s license. But as hard as I fought the nightmares of the accident, surgeries and long recovery, they finally took over my life and left me in a deep abyss of isolation and depression. Unable to overcome this onus I struggled with daily living and therapy did not seem to abate the debilitating emotions swirling in my head. I worked to support my family but it was exhausting as I continually struggled with chronic pain, self- doubt and low self-esteem. Every day I felt as if I was flying into an unwinnable head wind and would run out of fuel before finding an airport. I became detached from my family, was a drop-out husband and father, validating my total failure. I would not accept a diagnosis of PTSD and ignored suggestions given to me by the therapists.

I can honestly say that my faith carried me through many years of hopelessness and despair and knowing Jesus died on the cross for our salvation did not give me the right to take my own life as reminded by the scripture First Corinthians, Chapter 6, Verses 19 & 20 (KJV). What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit which is God’s. In 2012 I was accepted by the Department of Veterans Affairs and now have excellent psychological therapy for PTSD and have learned to embrace the life I have. Portions of this book were hard to write as doing so took me to places and situations I did not want to re-visit. It also gave me the ability to take complete ownership of my failed marriage. Other portions of the book brought tears of joy and sadness, as I wrote about family, friends and my relationship with God, the United Methodist Church and answering the calling to be a certified lay speaker.

This odyssey is jam-packed with non-stop action that has been blessed with God’s presence, love anger, disappointment, euphoria, wealth, health, fright, humbleness, elation, cynicism, trust, transgressions, forgiveness, experiences and memories that most people never dream of or engage in. Weaved into the text is a still unfinished love story. And the adage that allowed me to live and experience life again to the fullest with ongoing therapy is…….. ”Just Drive Through It”.