Life on Insulin

Chapter 1 Death is Knocking

“While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.” Quote Inspired by Leonardo da Vinci

A pancreas. Just one of the many parts of the human body. Not one of those parts we talk about a lot or focus on taking care of like the heart, brain, lungs, and so forth. But, a pancreas? A body part that did its job and no one needs to know anything more about it. If you were to ask me how important my pancreas was back then, I don’t even know if it would have broken the list of top one hundred. Why would it? It meant nothing to me as long as it was working. But, when it completely stopped my world change beyond anything I could ever have imagined. Before I could appreciate what my pancreas did my life was going to have to go on without it. Before this day happened my story was nothing unique or special to tell. I was a young, energetic kid living a life that was pretty usual among most people I knew. Most of the time, I was just being a child with minimal responsibilities and most importantly running around with as much of a carefree attitude as possible. What adult life would I imagine having to experience at the age of twelve? Why would I think something would come along and drastically change all that? That something did happen. It occurred out of nowhere; without any heads up or warning signs to give me any clue that my life was about to change drastically. You wake up thinking that today is going to be like every other day. Then life decides to shake things up and turn your life around into an entirely different direction that you could never have anticipated. It’s easier to reflect back on it now and see how the story unfolded, but at the time its purpose and meaning was nowhere in sight. I didn’t grasp the importance of having this happen to me until years later and after many unfortunate events occurred along the way. Now, this serves as the story of how something entered my life and created nothing but complete devastation and then in the end left me with ultimate inspiration.

Babysitting my younger cousin is never a hassle. We get along great, and there are never any problems when I watch her. Being twelve years old and babysitting kind of puts a little chip on your shoulder that you are now responsible enough to start to have adult-like responsibilities. Becoming a babysitter is not something I was looking forward to as a career, but let’s face it I was young and it was something convenient to do to make easy money. It is about time to head over to my aunt and uncle’s house, so I grab my empty school bag and yell to my father to hurry up. We stop at the local grocery store before it is time to report for duty. I run in real quick and grab two small cartons of chocolate milk. As soon as I get back to the car I put the two milk in my empty school bag, and we are ready to go.

The usual routine takes place throughout the night. We watch television and spend all of our time in the living room. Within minutes of being there I begin to have this craving for something to drink. Immediately, I open my school bag and quickly grab the first milk. I consume the whole carton at once. I thought drinking the milk would instantaneously quench my thirst, but it doesn’t. In fact, the craving to drink somehow grows stronger. Without hesitation, I grab the second milk and drink it faster than the first one. The same response happens, and the thirst refuses to be settled. Seconds after drinking the second milk I vomit all over the floor. I feel sorry for my cousin because she has to witness it all, but I am more worried about what is happening to me. Before going over to babysit everything felt fine. There was nothing wrong, and now I can’t even begin to imagine what is causing this strange reaction. I start to worry. Here I am watching out for my younger cousin, and I am starting to get sick. All of the sudden I am relieved to hear the garage door open. The kitchen door opens, and I notice my older cousin walking through the kitchen and into the living room. Going home becomes the first thought to enter my mind as the thirst is not getting any better. We gather my belongings and she drives me home immediately. The next three days became such a blur as my mind kept going in and out. I spend the entire time lying on the family room couch, vomiting any substance I consume. The first two days are identical. My family cannot think of any other explanation and assume I simply have the flu. What reason would we have to think otherwise? Usually when I come down with any illness, the recovery process consists of resting, drinking liquids, and watching movies. It doesn’t take too long for me to realize something is seriously wrong with my health. The first two days I consistently drink eight-ounce glasses of milk. After every glass, I drink I vomit almost on the spot. The vomiting and discomfort don't stop me though. The thirst is so strong that it feels as if I am going to suffocate if I don’t drink something. I continue to drink glass after glass and end up vomiting. The uncontrollable thirst is too strong to handle. I can’t remember the last time, or any time for that matter, where my appetite to consume liquids felt so intense. In the first two days, I drink over two gallons of milk and throw all of it up. My parents and I come to the conclusion that the milk is upsetting my stomach. The next day we decide I should only drink water. As much as I do not like the idea of not being able to consume milk, I am okay with drinking water if that makes the vomiting go away. Both parents head off to work again in hopes that drinking water will ease the vomiting and discomfort. Before they leave my mom brings me a large cup of water. I try to be tough and act like the thirst isn’t bothering me as much. When she hands me the water, I place it on the ground at first to make it seem like they shouldn’t worry. As soon as they leave I reach for the cup of water as fast as I can. After my first drink, I vomit all over the floor. I start to panic because I know throwing up water means something is seriously wrong.

I begin to ask questions inside my head. What is going on? What is happening to me? Why am I throwing up water? What kind of flu is this? How am I not getting better by now? I feel weak. I feel sick. I am scared, and I am worried. Worst of all, I am alone. The panic inside grows stronger because I have no idea what is going on. I drink another glass of water and throw it all up. I sit on the couch, motionless and start to feel incredibly weak to the point where I am not moving. I need to do something about it.