On My Own

Through the years, my father had shown his rather unique skills many times in protecting me and my family from such things as death threats and what many would call quasi terrorism. He had trained my young family to be conscious of what was going on around them at all times. It had been done out of necessity, but it was also done out of love. Who he really was and what he had been and done would remain a mystery, but I had witnessed his abilities more so than any of my siblings. He and I had a different kind of relationship and as the years went by we developed an understanding between us that we could never talk about. We both knew it had to do with loyalty. I knew that he had been involved in some sort of military and governmental activities that made it impossible for him to reveal who or what he really was. He had worked for the phone company for his entire career but we both knew that was just a small part of what his life had been about. My mother had some inklings of it but would also never talk about it.

“I have a box of things your father wanted me to give you,” she said. “When you get ready to go home tonight I’ll give it to you. Please take it home and go through it privately.”

The inference was that she didn’t want Elise to go though it with me. Elise and my mom had never quite seen eye to eye. Not exactly kindred spirits by any means. That’s an understatement I suppose. It was also true that my mother and I had never had a, what you might call, close, relationship either. There were many reasons for this and in my mind, they were all laid to rest at my feet. I was very definitely the “black sheep”. It was no secret to anyone that I was a huge embarrassment to her and to the family in general.

This new revelation was going to be interesting. While it was a shock at first, I really felt like it answered a lot of questions about my father and our relationship with one another. It even made sense that we, my wife and kids, had ended up being close to my father in his later years.