I Had to Choose
A Man Reflects on His Sexuality and the Choices He Made
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INTRODUCTION
This book is for people who have homosexual urges but wish to fall in love with someone of the opposite sex. I tell how I did it. It wasn't always easy, but it was my choice.
Some people say we have no choice about our sexuality. If a fifteen-year-old boy is sexually excited looking at muscular, athletic boys, some people tell him, “You're gay. You have no choice about it. Date boys, not girls. Be who you are. You can't change who you are.”
It wasn't always this way. In 1968 I was that fifteen-year-old boy. I was sexually excited looking at muscular, athletic boys. It happened to me repeatedly from early 1967 to early 1969. Back then, almost no one told me to date boys. Homosexuality was taboo in the 1960s. Almost everyone told me to date girls. In 2020 there are more openly gay people than in 1968. In 2020 if a fifteen-year-old boy is sexually excited looking at muscular, athletic boys, many gay people and some straight people will tell him to date boys. They'll tell him he has “no choice.”
But the boy must eventually make a choice. Months or years from now, he may want romance and will have to choose a companion—male or female. Which will he choose? Or is his only choice male? He may want to marry. He must choose whether to marry a man or woman. Or is his only choice a man?
Despite my homosexual urges, I chose to date females. I eventually married a woman and am very happy with her. We've been a couple since 1997, married since 2003. I am sixty-seven in 2020.
My sexual journey had nothing to do with religion. Some people—Christian, Jewish, Muslim, other faith, or no faith—have homosexual urges but want, or wish, to marry someone of the opposite sex. This book is for them. Whether their motivation is religious or secular, this book is for them. It tells how I did it. Should you do what I did? I don't know. I have no opinion on whether you should do it. You must decide for yourself.
If you have no desire to marry someone of the opposite sex, this book is not for you. You are welcome to read it, but I'm not telling you what to desire. Decide for yourself what you desire. This book is for people who have homosexual urges but desire to happily marry someone of the opposite sex. I tell how I dealt with those urges.
This book isn't “therapy” or “conversion therapy.” I am not a therapist, so this book isn't therapy. It is not a clinical guide. I am not a psychologist, medical doctor, or clergyman. I'm an ordinary man telling my own true story. Are you like me? Is your sexual orientation like mine? I don't know. Decide for yourself.
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About the Book
Are you tired of those religious books about overcoming same-sex attraction? Or wondering if you can choose your sexuality? Then, I Had to Choose might be just the book on sexual orientation you’ve been seeking. Author David A. Robinson shares a riveting memoir about his journey through same-sex attraction and seeing it as a choice he had to make. As people saw the same-sex attraction signs in his life, some said he was gay. So, do what other people say confirm your sexual orientation? This is one of those books on sexual orientation or same-sex attraction that recognizes people can have gay urges, but it doesn’t always mean they want to live a gay life. It's the story of an ordinary man that chose his romantic destiny, moving past urges of same-sex attraction and into the realm of possibility and choice. Of course, a muscular man and woman can convey beauty and appeal, but you can choose to love whom you choose, even amid same-sex attraction. Some in that situation might consider the choice to love someone of the opposite sex as living a lie, but David Robinson knows better and wants to help others through his story. This book is not about promoting conversion therapy. Instead, it’s a unique look at one man’s road down a path less traveled that led to a fruitful marriage with a woman. If you have gay tendencies or same-sex attraction, you too can choose who you fall in love with, even someone of the opposite sex. Perhaps you’ve wondered, is it a choice to be gay? Or is it a choice to be straight? Author David Robinson opens and shares how he made a choice when others said there was no choice.
About the Author
David A. Robinson is a lawyer. He lives in Connecticut with his wife. He earned his B.A. in 1974 from George Washington University and J.D. in 1977 from Washington University in St. Louis. From ages 14 to 16, he had homosexual urges. At 16 in 1969, he decided to date girls. His sexual orientation somewhat limited his choice of females but not to zero. From 1969 to 1997, he dated numerous women. In 1997 he met the woman he would marry. They’ve been a happy couple ever since. They married in 2003.