FATHER

Some of my thoughts are of the little girl in our special place. Her words for my ears only. Other thoughts are of the beautiful woman she is. Being Father is hard … I would have her happy. I would see her hear the sound, Mother, and her face shine. I must seek her out and have words. Moon does find me first, my heart is moving too much in me. We do walk slow and sit and talk. My ear is for her. Words come slow from her. I do pull her close and hold her to me. Perhaps if my eyes are not on her, her words would come easier. She holds my hands and gives words of a young man she has given promise to. He will be returning and would have words with me. "Father. My thoughts are he does fear you. His words will not come. Yet my heart does ache for him and I did see him in my vision." I hold her soft and tell her of my heart for her. I find strong words for her. Few days will pass before this man does return to our village. He seeks me out. He stands tall and straight, his eyes on mine. His robe is plain, yet fits well. The man does appear strong of character. "I am Star Dancing. Maajgie has come to my people many times. I know your words are true. My thoughts are you know my purpose to you." He does stop his words. Perhaps he thought I would give welcome with few words. I will not let this be too easy. "I will hear the words from you." I put to him. His words are slow and much thought put to them. My ears are for him only. I will hear all and give questions to him. Not all my questions are given good answer, yet true words are put to me. His eyes on me always. Moon is close. I do stand and motion her to us. She comes quick. "Moon, this man says his heart is for you. His words are true. Will you have this man?" She does jump into my arms and hold me tight. She quick kisses my cheek. She makes herself straight. Looking Star Dancing in the eyes, she says loud, "Yes, I will have this man." Many plans need to be made. Yet they would want this soon and winter with his people. Morning Star does want them wait for spring. Moon must have a new dress and celebration would need much preparation. Morning Star does push for proper planning. I hold Morning Star in my arms. "Too many of us have left this life too soon," I begin. "I would have her happy now. Many here, will want to help." Her eyes do water and look down. She gives nod of her head and agrees. My heart is sad. I cannot let this overtake the occasion. I do go to my Spirit Father and give many words. His ear is for me and His hand is on my shoulder. My heart has peace. My Spirit Father gives me words to share. All in me is light and my face does smile. All have come together to celebrate. I do wash my arms and face and put on my dancing shirt. Morning Star finds me. The women have made her beautiful and I do share words of this to her often. The young men have done well with Star Dancing also. They had found the smell the women put on me when Morning Star became wife. The women come as a group around Moon. They do move apart and let all see, this woman is beautiful. They have done a great honor to her for this day. Moon's dress fits well and does have all the extra attention only a woman could do. "She is beautiful as her mother is." I say soft to Morning Star. She lays her head on my chest and water falls from her eyes. Low sounds come from Morning Star, she cannot hide what is inside. I do hold her tight. Sun does introduce each of them to the people. Moon gives words that make my eyes water. Star Dancing's words come slow and steady. His eyes do water, his heart is for her. Sun does motion me to them. "Maajgie, Father, Friend of the Great Spirit, give words to start their lives together. He does honor me with this introduction. I stand in front of them, my words are strong, my Spirit Father's hand is light on my shoulder. I share of Morning Star's heart for me and the little things she would do that let me know this. I try to share of my full heart for Morning Star. My voice gives a crack and my eyes water. I will have them know two hearts full together. Morning Star is quick beside me and puts lips to my ear. My words come hard, I have more to share. All ears are for me. "Let these words start to fill your hearts. Star Dancing, when you hear husband, let it fill your heart. Moon, when you hear wife, let it fill your heart. Star Dancing, to hear the word father should make your heart overflow. Moon, to hear Mother should make your heart overflow." My words quit, my eyes make water. I do want them happy. Moon puts her arms around both Morning Star and I. She puts her lips to my cheek. "Father," she says. She puts her lips to Morning Star’s cheek. "mother." She says. Her eyes meet mine, water is in them. "Father," she says again with smile on her face. Stepping into Star Dancing's arms, she says, "Husband." He does call her wife. We sing, we dance and we do eat too much. Morning Star does pull me to our lodge sooner than she had in the past celebrations. Her lips do find my ears. Her arms are about me, her hold is not tight. I know her heart is for me. She does sleep in my arms too quick. She is not herself. Morning Star no longer can run with me. I will carry her … I do want her in my arms. Her thoughts are good, yet the air is gone from her too quick. She will tire even when I carry her. There is a hill overlooking the valley, we often sit and watch all, and give words to each other. All in me hurts to see her weak and fading.