The Deer/ Dear Hunt

I went to the lobby and double checked the arrangements for Linda’s room. I couldn’t restrain myself any longer, It was a little early, but I left anyway. I decided to familiarize myself with the Airport. I drove fast, but the traffic was lighter than I expected. I got there real early. By the time her flight was due, I had checked out every nook and cranny of that airport terminal. I found some chairs and sat down near the area where the people on her flight would come out of customs. I began to review again in my mind the joy I would see on her face when I surprised her with the cruise. It is interesting how fast time flies when you are thinking joyous thoughts. I met her as she came out of the customs area. She looked apprehensive and tired. She was pushing a luggage cart with several suitcases loaded on it and walking rather slowly. I quickened my pace and headed toward her. “Hi” I said. “How was the flight?” “Long,” she answered. I came over to the back of the cart where she was standing, ready to take her in my arms and give her a big hug. As I came toward her, she stepped back so as to keep the cart somewhat between us. “What is the matter?” I asked somewhat confused. “Let’s talk in the car,” she said. “I assume you rented one and we are not taking a cab.” “The car is parked in the short-term lot. Why don’t I walk with you to the pickup point at the curb, and you stay there with your luggage while I go get the car,” I said. With what she had brought, it just seemed easier that way. “Okay,” she answered. On my way to the car, I almost had to sit down just to get over the shock. Here I had daydreamed about the wonderful reunion we would have when her plane came in and we finally were together again. My spirits were so high. I had planned and dreamed about this for so long! The news of the divorce I had from John indicated she was free. Now she seemed to not even want to be near me. What has happened? Why? I left her at the curb to go get the car not because of her luggage, although it made a good excuse, but because of me. I needed time alone to rearrange my thoughts, time to get over the shock. My daydreams of this loving relationship I was to have when she arrived seemed to have just been squashed. I had to figure this out. I brought the car around and stopped where she was standing. I loaded her suitcases into the trunk and started moving to her side of the car to be a gentleman. I looked up. She was nowhere to be seen. Then I realized that she was already in the passenger seat. I went to my side and got in. “This is a newer model of Sable than the one we had in November,” I said. This one has a center console that pulls out from the middle, giving us a place to hold coffee.” I lifted the armrest and pulled the console out to show her. She was silent. “Its a little drive to the motel,” I said. “The lights in the city are kind of nice, and the drive gets very pretty when we get to Lions Gate Bridge.” “I didn’t want to come,” she stated rather softly. “I didn’t want to come, but I had the tickets, and my son thought I made the arrangements, and to sage face, I got packed and on the plane. I decided that it would be better to tell you in person anyway. I couldn’t do it by letter or by phone, although I did try to write several letters.” “What is wrong? What did I do to you to cause you to feel this way?” I asked. “Nothing really,” she answered, “I will get my own room and go back to the airport tomorrow to head home. I will send you the money for the ticket. I’d py you now, but I am rather short.” “What happened?” I asked again. “It isn’t your fault. Maybe it isn’t anyone’s fault. Maybe it is just how I feel right now. I just don’t know!” she said and began to sob. “Let me put your mind at ease. I rented two rooms at the motel for tonight and the next night and the nights after that. There are some different and wonderful things to see and do here. Will you join me for at least several days? I make no demands on you. I am committed to spend the time up here, and it will be terribly lonely if you go.” I explained. She looked over at me, her head tilted forward and half-smiled through her tear-stained face as she wiped away the tears with a Kleenex. “We must talk about this It is important to me,” she began. “I am sure it is, but it is late in the day, and you have just completed a long, tiring trip. There will be plenty of time to talk about things tomorrow,” I replied, trying to gain some time. “You don’t know how I worried about this on the plane, about what you would expect and what you might demand, how I would tell you, what you would say,” she continued. “Tell me what?” Again she was silent. As I waited for her to get her thoughts together, I looked over at her and saw the effects of the last seven months on her face. She had wrinkles I didn’t remember. In the darkness of the car, her hair looked like it had more gray than before. Finally, she began to speak. “It’s wrong for me to be here with you. It just is!