A Better You Experience

Bumpy beginnings The goal is to have this awesome and fabulous relationship with Christ so we can have access to everything he has for us in his kingdom. As easy as it sounds its not that simple. Well as for me it wasn’t that easy. From the outside looking in growing up I can genuinely say I had a pretty darn great child hood. Growing up in middle class, I had both parents in the same household, my father literally broke his neck for his family worked one full time job and during the holidays of every year picked up a second part time job just to see smiles on our faces Christmas morning when we woke up to a tower of gifts.. never the less as years begin to pass my mother became ill.. Mentally ill due to the strongholds that life brings, I remember getting picked up after school going to visit my mother in a mental institution behind a glass, I could not hold her, touch her tell her I love her… Im vulnerable even as I speak on this.. my eyes are filled and I’m wiping tears from my eyes. Favor and mercy my mom is healed.. Although she still has things she’s praying thru shes not the same mommy she was when I was 13 looking at her behind a glass about 25 years ago… Needless to say, during that time. I struggled when I was a teen ager, I struggled tremendously with adapting and managing my pain and school.. I remember all thru out high school, I fought I remember punching this guy in the face for slamming the door as I approached it and making me late for class. Which resulted in me getting arrested, yes arrested hands behind my back and ended up at the police station until my parents arrived. My mom picked me up and saw the 6’3 boy and asked “candace is this who you fought, I said yes and anyone can get these hands if they want them. Yes I was awful yall. I then went away to school it took one time, yes one time and I was kicked out and suspended from college for fighting….. I smiled the whole way home as I was riding on the passenger side of my dads Mercedes benz with my 10 trash bags of clothes in the back seat and in the trunk yes I was suspended for the chaos I caused on campus that day He wasn’t smiling if he could he leave me on the side of the road he would… not a happy parent moment. In my defense my friend was getting bullied and they hit us first to clarify! I did not go around bullying or picking fights, just one that stands up for myself however. There is no excuse for being irresponsible. But what we fail to realize is allot of poor decisions we make are because of our reality….but the question is how long will we continue to make the same poor mistakes time and time again…. I guess I didn’t have that answer by the time I looked up 10 years had passed and I realized that I allowed myself to be in a emotional roller coaster with a man that was not my husband, then another 1 year with someone who was heaven sent! Not because he was my husband but because if I was not in that relationship I would not be the woman I am today, that is why I say he was heaven sent. That man drove me up the wall, if I had not been at my wits end….Im confident I would still be making the same countless mistakes over and over again. It was a gloomy morning I remember sitting in the parking lot of my job when I asked God to come into my heart and forgive me of my sins…..I could not do it anymore! I had tears in my eyes and I was over it!! I tried it by myself on my own and it didn’t work out right I was at the point of my life where I wanted to try things Gods way. I was basically like well my way isn’t working so let me try it Gods way. Shortly after that is when my life changed. When I say shortly it was a honest 30 days later!! All God wants is our hearts, our undivided attention!! God wants to give us the world. The choice is ours. When I say my life changed for the better it in fact changed and it changed quickly. Thankful for Gods Favor that he had over my life that year.I received a phone call from my boss asking if I would be interested in a opportunity in Baton Rouge La…. (( I as living in Chicago, at the time ))) I thought to myself well sheesh where the heck this come from and then proceeded to ask God like how do you feel about that? I felt in my heart it was the right thing to do. I must be honest I knew it was both God and the right thing to do. If its what God wants me to do it’s the right thing to do I was living with my Aunty at the time, I went from a small space at my aunts home in her bed room sleeping on a sofa chair in her bed room to my very own place in Baton Rouge La. The way one is truly living their life shows up, nothing about God is substandard, all God wants is for us to live according to his will so he can give us the best. Here it was I was a Store Manager, making about 120 thousand dollars a year and living with my aunt sleeping on a sofa chair in her bedroom. To clarify, giving ourselves to God is not about getting something in return. Do not be in a relationship with strings attached and focusing on how you will benefit personally. Give yourself to God without expecting something in return. Psalm 37:4, delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. God puts desires in our heart and he grants them to us! God is so Good!! If I am no longer living in Sin and God puts something in my heart for me to pursue then it is in his will. I moved to baton rouge Louisiana, My experience there was tough……I was lonely, no family no friends it was just me. I had to continue to press so I would not revert back to my old habits.. Lets be honest, its not a easy road making the decision to completely turn your life over to God. It’s a process, it takes both effort and hard work just like any other relationship you may have. Lets factor these things, I was a woman who kept a man, I did not go long at all being single, I was not comfortable with being alone in addition I formed the alcohol addition to num the pain.. Yes a alcohol addition, I use to wake up in the morning, every morning and enjoy a bottle of wine and again when I returned home for the evening.. ..With that being said, When I moved to Baton Rouge La, I took it as Gods way of giving me a fresh start with new responsibilities so I can show him how responsible I was “I had a choice” I immediately made the decision to refrain from alcohol rather it was wine or champagne.. You have to starve your distractions and Feed your Focus to get to the places that God has for you in life. I struggled tremendously with trying to find a church home and friends but I never gave up on God.. God kept me he protected me.. I heard this prophecy, do not get weary in your well doing! That’s just what I felt happening to me, I was getting weary in my well doing!. Because of obedience is when my next short term blessing presented itself. I call it a short term blessing because I was not there longer than 2 years but it was a blessing.. I was offered to work at one of the busiest stores in the company in corpus Christ Texas. Again spending time in corpus Christi Texas I had to lean on God, placed in another position where I had no friends, but God. Texas was not the best experience for me but it was definitely what I needed to get me to my next steps. In fact it was Texas that helped me discover my purpose. Texas stretched me beyond measure, the fact is my past experiences prepared me for Texas. It was rough, I was ridiculed I didn’t have much support but I in fact had GOD. There were many nights where I would sit home crying, sad, in my feelings because work in itself was tough, it was hard, here it was a young woman running one of the Highest volume stores in the company and it wasn’t just the busy it was the push back, it was a constant fight and I had to push thru it to ensure I still was able to get my job done as a leader.