A Flat of Petunias
Finding the Pathway Through the Pain
by
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...And so it was, that I found myself standing in the emergency room at the hospital in a little hill country town, well aware that the heroic efforts being made to resuscitate my husband were futile. At some point, knowing he had been without oxygen for nearly an hour – no heartbeat, and no breathing, except when it was done for him in the resuscitation effort – I told the staff to stop. They did, and I could feel their relief. They knew, as I did, that if by some chance his heart did begin to beat again, his mind would be gone, and his body would exist for an indeterminate length of time, tethered to a machine. I knew he would not want that, and I didn’t want it for him. So, we let him go, and I stood beside his already-cooling body and tried to get my mind around what had happened...
Against this surreal background, I stood and contemplated my situation. Comprehension was not possible at that time. I actually believe that I thought, in those moments, that I could somehow “fix” this, or that someone (God?) would magically fix it for me. I had no experience with the terrible permanence of death, but the reality would slowly creep into my consciousness over the coming weeks and months, and it would be years before anything would be “fixed.” It would require more of me than I had ever had to give, and would very nearly overcome me. This is the story of that battle.
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About the Book
The book chronicles the author’s journey through the mire of shock and grief, as she tries to find her place in the world again. She addresses the many pitfalls that beset the newly-widowed, whether man or woman, and offers practical advice for coping with those situations. Also, it validates the tangled emotions that a person may encounter, and suggests ways to confront and temper those emotions effectively.
About the Author
The author is a registered nurse, and has dealt with death and grieving families for many years, but never saw it as something that would happen to her. She often journals important events in her life, and this book was born out of a journal she began after her husband’s unexpected death. This is her first book, though she does write short stories, drawn from memories of her childhood, and published in a healthcare industry-specific magazine.